College Life.

remember when this was a thing??? lol.

I’ve been moved in at Ouachita for over two weeks now. Our orientation week consisted of lots of awkward icebreaker activities and learning about all things OBU. We had a WOW cup competition day; I didn’t really participate because movement isn’t really my thing (there were burpee and jump rope activities), but I did contribute to spelling out the letter ‘O’ with my body (I’m kind of a big deal). There was also a thing called Tigers and Torches, and it was awesome. Kind of gave off some freaky cult vibes, but awesome. We got beanies and officially felt like we were #tigers4lyfe lol. We also may or may not have lit the campus on fire. It’s fine. After that, we took our first class picture and headed to the purple and gold dessert and karaoke party. I ate lots of yummy ice cream and hung out with a couple of girls that I had become kind of close to that day. We ended up leaving early and heading back to my dorm just to chill before college and classes actually started. I also got to meet my theatre mentor during that week; she’s super super sweet, and we had a little heart to heart conversation in the student center (so if you saw me crying, that’s why oops lol). Overall, the week made me anxious for classes to start.

I have a very important question: why did no one ever warn me about the syllabus???

I had no idea my whole semester for every class would just be laid out right in front of me; it’s so intimidating. Somehow, I’ve beat the procrastination habit I had in high school. This past week, I had all of my homework through Thursday done by Sunday night (I was super proud of myself). There’s lots of work in college, but I guess it’s manageable. I’m glad I got it all done though because I ended up going to the lake that day with some people in the theatre department. We were going to go floating in the river, but apparently some people ended up having to get rescued out of the water because the rapids were so rough. Needless to say, we chose not to do that. We went and ate pizza together afterwards too.

Speaking of the theatre department, the people seem really nice. We had auditions on the first day of school for the two fall productions (To Kill a Mockingbird and The Learned Ladies) that OBU is doing. Needless to say, the first day of school was very stressful. I got callbacks for both shows (very surprising), and I actually ended up getting cast in TLL!! I’m super excited. We start rehearsals in a few weeks. I think I’m the only freshman girl cast in it (my daughters are both older than me lolol), but I’m not sure. Either way, I’m nervous but very happy!! The day the cast list went up, a few of us ended up hanging out. I met some new people. We watched bad lip readings, a scary movie, and ate food. Everyone was so nice. We also had a theatre department cookout that week, and I went and got coffee with a few people after that.

The past couple of weeks since school started have also consisted of Walmart runs, looking for the campus cat, and lots of Chickfila. Oh yeah, fun fact: there was this thing called Spotlight on Arkadelphia that happened. Basically, lots of local businesses sat up around campus and you would walk around and get a whole bunch of free stuff. I got an unholy amount of free candy, cookies, pizza, coffee, and more. It was like Halloween but even better. I’ve also gotten 5 new t shirts since getting to college. It may or may not be a problem. Along with all of the super awesome and cool stuff I got that night, I also got lots and lots of mosquito bites!!! Apparently one of them got infected or something (or it might have even been a spider bite) and my foot became swollen to twice its normal size. I could barely walk on it, so I hobbled slowly across campus (THANK GOD I don’t go to a huge college) with my monster foot for about 4 days. This happened the first week of school. It was really really embarrassing, but I guess it made for a good conversation starter??

People keep asking me if I’m enjoying college, and I keep saying yes. But really, I’m struggling. I feel like I’m holding myself back. A lot. All I do is sit in my dorm room and do homework. The only person I eat meals with is my boyfriend, which it’s nice to see him and all, but I don’t know who I would sit and eat with if he wasn’t there. I noticed during WOW that it seemed like everyone else had made best friends in their groups and I hadn’t, but I just assumed everything would be okay once classes started. Classes have started, and it’s only gotten worse. It seems like everyone already has their friend groups except for me. Maybe it’s because they got awesome roommates or suitemates or WOW groups that they connect with and get along with, but I feel like I just don’t belong with mine. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all nice (I even went to the first football game with my roommate and suitemates and had a pretty good time). But being around them just makes me feel like I don’t fit in with them or like they’re just not going to be my best friends. It also doesn’t help that my roommate goes home every Friday afternoon and doesn’t come back until Sunday night. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with. It’s honestly really been bringing me down lately. I feel super pathetic (I even started crying in class a couple of times. Lame, I know). I ended up coming home because of Labor Day weekend; it was a very very last minute decision, but I just didn’t want to be locked up in my dorm by myself for four more days. It was nice just to be home and be able to sleep in my own bed again. My parents took me out to eat at Chili’s (my fav restaurant). I went on a couple of walks with my mom (the weather’s been super nice. I’m so pumped for fall). I didn’t get to see any of my friends from high school (that sucks).

And at this point, I don’t want to go back to OBU. But, I know I have to. I’m hoping I’ll start hanging out with people outside of class, but I don’t know if that will happen. I’ve never had to be a very outgoing person when it comes to meeting people and making new friends. I’m not used to it. I’ve never really been the person to ask someone to hang out or grab lunch or coffee sometime. It seems hard and scary. I need people to eat lunch with, or to study with, or to go to football games with. I didn’t really anticipate it being the third week of school and finding myself saying “I don’t have  any friends” but here I am.

So, there’s my experience for the first couple weeks of college so far. I’d give it a solid 6/10 :”)

(also I know things are very scattered in this and I probably left out some important stuff but oh well I’m actually about to drive back to school and I wanted to get this done so that people could go ahead and see it and feel sorry for me lololol jk but rlly b my friend pls)

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