Freshman year fears

The upcoming school year approaching brings along my freshman year of college and lots of mixed emotions about it. Half of me is super duper excited! I’m moving to a new place and I’ll hopefully make lots of good memories during the next four years! However, I’m also slightly terrified. I’m moving two and a half hours away from home. None of my close friends from high school are going to college with me. I’ve never even driven in my college town. So, I decided the best thing to do would be to let my fears out into the world (plus at the end of the year I can look back on this and laugh at how completely dumb and ridiculous I was. or, I can internally scream “YES LAUREN YOU WERE SO RIGHT COLLEGE IS SO SCARY” but hopefully that won’t have to happen). So, let’s begin!

1.) What if nobody likes me? I always imagined myself going to the same college as my best friends; I thought we would be roomies and experience college life together. Sadly, I’m going to be at least an hour away from all of my close friends from home. The only person I’ve met in person that’s going to my college is my boyfriend, and he kind of has to like me. I will admit that I have talked to a fair share of people in my freshman class over the phone, but I just can’t seem to form a connection with anybody. Now it’s not that those people aren’t awesome (they totally are!!), it’s just that it’s really hard for me to start over. Opening up to strangers isn’t something I’m used to, and I’m having a hard time trying. It’s scary. Like, what am I supposed to talk about? What if they don’t understand my sense of humor? I’m going to a conservative Baptist college; what if I offend someone? I’m very afraid I’m not going to fit in (new best friend where ya @ tho??). People are already hanging out and calling people their new best friends. It’s only July!! I’ve never had to worry about who I’m going to sit with at lunch, but now I do (Lord, please don’t let me grab Chickfila to go and then just lock myself in my dorm all alone).

2.) Is the freshman 15 real? For those of you who don’t know, the freshman 15 refers to the weight that new college students supposedly gain. And it makes sense (to an extent). You’re finally out of your house and living on your own (partially). You have freedom, and choices, and freedom and choices about what you eat. No more home cooked meals everyday. If you’re me, you have 5 meal swipes a day at the cafeteria, Chickfila, and the coffee shop (all within walking distance). My college town is also building a Little Caesars this year (cheap and greasy large pizzas: need I say more?). There’s not going to be anyone there telling you that 10 cookies for breakfast and a bag of potato chips for lunch isn’t a real meal (although it sounds like a good time to me) or that you need to stop binging that show on Netflix and get up and exercise. Your health is up to you! And me? I’m not very good at the whole “healthy lifestyle” thing. Within this past year, I’ve managed to lose quite a bit of weight (try taking the freshman 15 and multiplying that by 3), but that doesn’t mean it was easy. At home, I manage to workout in some way or go to the gym on a pretty regular basis to maintain my weight. I’m very scared that I’m going to lose all of my progress because of college. I don’t want to be the kid who operates only on coffee and ramen.

3.) Will my roommate and I get along? Okay, so I may or may not have talked to my roommate since the day we met in person. 3 months ago. And that really scares me. It’s been so long that I don’t know how to reach out without it being too incredibly awkward. What would I say?? “Hey, sorry if you hated me in person, but who’s bringing the mini-fridge?” College is less than a month away, and we seem to be the only roommates that aren’t talking on a regular basis. I see all of these other roommates bonding and how much fun they’re having, and I can’t even text mine. I mean, maybe we’ll get along. Hopefully. We both have similar majors, so that’s cool. We both like the color purple; even better!! Are we going to be soulmates and paint each other’s nails every Wednesday night? It’s very questionable (I don’t particularly know anyone whose friendship is like that but whatever). She most likely doesn’t completely hate my guts. I am kind of scared at the fact that on one of the few occasions that we actually talked, we discussed having a purple themed room. Guess who just went out and bought a ton of mint blue and hot pink dorm stuff?? Hahahha I’m already off to a great start. I can feel it. :”)

4.) Will I be successful? I was in Honor Society in high school, so I guess you could say I’m kind of a genius (not really at all lol). I got good grades, but I was terrible at doing my work. I am a hUGE procrastinator; maybe that’s my fatal flaw. I drown myself in other activities and ignore my school work until I’m completely surrounded by piles and piles of papers that I didn’t even realize were building up in the first place (okay maybe it wasn’t quite that dramatic but I thought it would make a lot cooler visual than it actually did). I’m telling myself that I’ll be a much better student in college. After all, I’ll actually be taking classes I ENJOY (plus I don’t have to take a math OR a science class: score!!). I really need to focus this year and not let my grades slack. I just think it’d make for a really awkward thanksgiving dinner if my relatives asked about that time I failed my Honors Bible Survey class (Baptist college probz).

5.) What do I wear to college football games? As silly as that may sound next to my other fears, I am genuinely concerned. I was in band all throughout high school, and we played at the majority of the games; the ones we didn’t play at, I just didn’t bother going to. I was in the student section once throughout my entire high school career; it was an away game, and the dress up theme was “redneck.” You stay classy, RHS. Anyways, I never really saw much other than hot (in the “sweaty” sense) band uniforms. So for college games, do I wear spirited clothing with my college’s name plastered all over it, or do I dress fancy? And what the heck does dressing fancy for a football game even mean?? I don’t want to stick out. On top of that, I’m already stressing about finding people that I’m going to sit with at the games. But on the bright side, my boyfriend’s been teaching me about football, so at least I’ll have a somewhat good idea of what’s going on (as long as I’m not that girl who cheers when the other team makes a touchdown, I think I’ll be good).

6.) Will I miss high school too much? Honestly it’s going to be disappointing if my high school years were the best times of my life. High school was mediocre at best. I was stressed all of the time. But, I did have some fun. I was in band from 6th grade to 12th; I was an All-State clarinet player. The feeling of finally conquering a beast of music was an extremely satisfying feeling for me. I worked my butt off. This will be the first time in 6 years that I won’t go to school with a lunchbox in one hand and clarinet in the other, and that’s really weird. I’m not sure whether I’m happy or sad about not being in band anymore. I’m also not sure whether I’m going to be doing choir this year or not. I was in choir from 10th to 12th, and I was in my school’s select 12 person acapella group (we made some miiighty fine music). To be honest, I already miss it. I love making music. The sound of voices locking together is so addicting for me. But at this point, it’s a matter of it will fit into my schedule or not. I just really hope that my college experience is so good that I won’t even have to miss high school that much.

•••

and now, I think I’ll list off a few worries that I wouldn’t really categorize with my top 6 fears:

*will my professors be easy to talk to?

*will I fall asleep inbetween classes?

*will I fall in the rain on my way to class?

*what if my first day is completely terrible?

*what if I forget something?!

*what if I forget eVERYTHING???!!

*what if I hate college?

*will my friends still in high school forget about me?

*will my animals miss me? 😦

•••thought this post needed a little pick up, so here’s what I’m actually excited about for the new school year:

*essentially free chickfila!!! (I’m already a broke college student and college hasn’t even started yet)

*WOW week: the orientation week during our first week on campus. hopefully I’ll be able to meet some nice people

*Tiger Tunes: my college puts on this show in the fall full of singing and dancing and this girl is so pumped to watch or possibly even participate in it!

*FOOTBALL.

*having an excuse to buy new clothes (oops)

*decorating my dorm room all cute

*and I’m overall just excited to be at a new place and experience new things!!

 

///thanks for listening to me ramble. I wish everyone lots of luck in this next year!! and if you’re an incoming college freshman like me, I hope you at least related a little to this post. otherwise, maybe I’m just crazy///

until next time,

lauren.

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