Fear of the Known

Real talk for a minute.

I’m debating if/when I want to inform people in my life about this blog. The thought of it honestly kind of really terrifies me. Real people I see in real life could read really real things about me. I’ve only ever shared any personal writing with one person. That’s one person out of hundreds that I know. However, I’m starting to become a more open person. I’m accepting myself and slowly but surely becoming more confident in who I am. That includes my thoughts, opinions, and just general information about myself.

Reading and writing were my biggest passions growing up. I would read and read and read and be so inspired by the amazing authors before me that I thought I could become one myself. So, I wrote stories. Lots of them. I even had written a whole book, but I lost the words and characters. That sometimes still saddens me to this day.

I would always have some sort of connection with my characters, as I imagine most authors do. But mine were special. My characters were smart. Brave. Outgoing. Fearless. Beautiful. They were everything I wanted to be. And I loved them. A lot. But as I grew older, reading became dull books assigned in school and writing was homework. I lost my spark. I lost my motivation.

Thankfully, I’ve felt lots of inspiration to write lately! I mean, I feel like I have a lot to say. I have a lot on my mind. I have lots of things that interest me or make me happy that I feel like would be kinda cool to share with others. I feel like maybe I have some important things to say. I’d like to be able to give advice. I’d like to help people. Because as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that one of the only things that trumps my love of writing is my love for helping others. 

So who cares about other peoples’ opinions (the bad ones, that is)? Honestly if I can make one person feel a little better during their day, that’s all I need. I need to feel like I’m making a difference, even if it’s so tiny and minuscule that nobody else can see it. I already feel a lot better about life just from creating this blog, and that makes me really happy.

and what’s more important in life than being happy?

So I think I will tell people about this. Sure, I don’t exactly plan on shoving it down their throats, but a little mention here and there should suffice. Who knows if anyone will even read this? Maybe I’m talking to myself (probably wouldn’t be the first time lol). But that’s okay too. Because someone somewhere will more than likely see my blog. And read it. And maybe even like it.

So, here’s to being brave. Here’s to being outgoing. Here’s to being fearless. Hi, people I know.

This is me.

 

//thank you to those who actually read this blog. it was not created on the idea that many would see it, but rather on the idea that maybe the few would gain hope//

until next time,

lauren.

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4 thoughts on “Fear of the Known

  1. I identified with your post: I recently started blogging myself and dealt with that decision of letting my “Irl” friends and my family know early on. I decided it would be in my best interest to tell everyone about it possible. Moving past my fear of writing something that sucks and someone reading it and telling me so publicly has skyrocketed my confidence. Especially when people I know in my everyday life talk to me about my dreams and tell me that “it was really good.” Weak critique at best but I’m not looking for literary critics among my friends and family, I’m looking for my first readers. I felt for a while that, like you, I would think, “Who knows if anyone will even read this?” Every time I would write a story or even first considered the idea. But anyway, I read this post, you are not as alone as you think. Confidence 😉 thanks for the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am high key really excited that this is going to be a thing. You know no one’s retweets get me rolling on the floor like yours, but this is a much more suitable outlet for your impeccable wit! This blog may be my primary way of knowing what the heck is going on in your world when I am in Fayetteville, so do me a favor and keep shining, little gumdrop belly button bear! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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